BAR RULES: NOT UP FOR DEBATE

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You stumble into the bar, delusional perhaps from pre-entry intoxication, or perhaps from anticipatory drunkendom. Somehow, you come to the conclusion, you are entitled to act like the bar is your home; your personal refuge. You are a cocky mother f-er.

Case #1:

Electrician Mike enters with a monstrous box which at first looks like a X-mas tree stand. But, upon further inspection, I realize it is a huge box of power tools.


He begins to test the power tools, making various buzzing sounds, loudly plopping things on top of the bar, and then he saunters over to an outlet, and proceeds to plug in some contraption.

I suggest that the noise he is making is not appropriate since patrons are there nursing their hangovers, hoping to cure them with a little hair of the dog. Power tool testing, is not what the doctor ordered.

On top of this...I begin to question another patron, Bill, as to whether Mike thought to ask whether it was okay to tap into our power supply.

I begin to silently fume. Instead of wasting my breath, I begin to create a list of functions the bar is not intended for. That was the start of my famous "bar rule signs..." This one read:

"This is a bar...not your...
...#1 Power tool testing station."

Lesson: Don't come to my bar on your lunch break and set up shop. The result will be a sign posted for all to see, and your cockiness will have been the inspiration for the retalitory list.

Don't confuse your local bar with your personal den of selfish indulgence. You could be the ridicule of bartenders and those who love them, everywhere.

Screw you with a power tool later.